


Who We Are

by DKSculder



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Baby Fic, F/M, MSR, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-23 16:50:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8335132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DKSculder/pseuds/DKSculder
Summary: Mulder wakes up after being brought back from the dead, but he doesn't remember anything, or anyone. Can Scully manage to rescue him from his own lost mind?





	1. Memories Lost

"Mulder." The name rolled off her tongue, as if she never had to even fathom the thought of not uttering it towards him again. The giant tears falling freely from her eyes as she watched the man that consumed her life, have his own back. She was, at times, the only one who believed in him, in them.

"Hi." She whispered with a shaky voice, relief shining through. 

"Who are you?" He asked, puzzlement clouding his face, seriousness in his voice. 

The relief quickly faded as fear washed over her. Perhaps this was just him, playfully being him. But no, this was different, his once warm eyes full of mischief and excitement for the questions he sought answers to, were completely blank - lost. Scully's breath caught in her throat, emotions running high. 

"Do you remember anything?" She approached cautiously, how do you even make small talk with someone who doesn't even know your name. 

"I guess I would need to have some sort of memory to even remember, right?" He smiled sheepishly, attempting to mask the fear flushing through him with humor. 

"You don't have any memory? Do you know your own name?" 

"That would be a negative. Are you my doctor?" 

"I was, amongst other things." She said in a small whisper, fighting back the full emotions mixing through her from flowing out. 

"Mind helping me out? Where am I...who am I?" 

"You're in the hospital, how you ended up here is a rather long story that I'm not sure you're ready for. We should probably ease into who you are, that's slightly complicated." She said with a slight smirk. He furrowed his brow with a small chuckle of amusement at her description. 

"Alright, let's start wit the basics then. What's my name?" 

"Fox Mulder. You, uh, used to be a special agent with the FBI. We were partners." 

"Well that explains why I'm not completely freaking out by the blank slate that is currently my mind. I feel, comfortable, with you here." 

"That's good, it could mean that there's a chance at recovering your memories, if you're feeling a sense of familiarity." She said, sitting up straighter in her chair at even a glimpse of hope. 

"So tell me, Doc, what exactly led me here? I can see it on your face, it wasn't an easy journey." 

"Like I said, that's definitely a story to ease ourselves into. God, it's so great to have you back, you have no idea." She said instinctively, he playfully glared his eyes at her. "Sorry, poor choice of words." She finished with a smirk. 

"Agent Scully?" Agent Doggett called out as he strolled into the room. He was relieved to see the small smile on her face, knowing this is what she's always wanted. 

"Hey." She said with a small smile. "Mulder, would you excuse me for a moment?" She said with sensitivity in her voice. He nodded, letting what he had just been told replay in his mind, hopefully triggering any sliver of a memory, but there was nothing. 

"He's awake." Doggett said as more of a fact than a question. 

"He is, but, uh, his memory has been completely wiped. He doesn't even know who he is, so the recovery is going to be a little more different than we originally anticipated. Would you mind finding the doctor?" She asked kindly. 

"Are you sure you're up for this? Having him back is one thing, but it'll be like having a complete stranger around." He said with concern in his voice. 

"I appreciate you looking out for me, but he's not a stranger, not to me. I'm not abandoning him to someone else, or some rehab center." She scoffed in disbelief that he would even have the audacity to question it. 

"I'm sorry, I'm just thinking about you, and the baby." 

"Well, thank you, but it's not for you to say. Please, go get the doctor and let him know Mulder is awake." She said with a slight bitterness in her voice. 

She turned on her heels back to Mulder's bed, and could see the only expression mulling about in his mind, sadness. She knew, memories or not, he would find a way to embrace guilt for this situation. 

"We're going to bring the doctor in to run some tests, see if there's anymore brain damage that we aren't catching." She said making simple conversation, taking extra care in explaining everything thoroughly. 

"Thanks. Uh, do I have any family?" He asked carefully, assuming he was already a burden in this beautiful woman's life. 

"No, not really. Both of your parents have already passed, and you lost your sister a long time ago. You were, are, the last Mulder." She said carefully, not ready for that conversation. A heaviness filled the room, and the tension was rising. 

"Not really then? That sounds like a direct no to me." 

"Well, we-" She began to say before she closed her mouth at the entrance of the doctor. 

He ran his basic tests, and ordered more, Scully by his side the entire time. She could sense him stiffen and his anxiety build at any mention of separating from her, so she went where he went. They finally settled themselves back in his room, both mentally and physically exhausted. 

"You should probably get home, I don't want to keep you any more. I'm assuming your husband isn't too happy with you being here all the time." He said, gesturing with his eyes to her protruding stomach. She glanced down and smiled...oh, if he only knew. 

"There's no one waiting for me at home, and I've been sleeping here more often than you think. One more night won't hurt. The doctor said we should have your results tomorrow, and from there we can plan for your release." 

"If I don't have a family, do I even have a home to go back to?" He asked with genuine concern. 

"I've kept up your apartment, but I don't know if it's the best idea for you to go back there alone, given the circumstances. We can figure that out tomorrow, Mulder. I know you're exhausted, I can see it in your eyes." 

"Okay, one more question. Why do you call me Mulder?" 

"Because you call me Scully. Get some rest." She said as she ran her hand gently over his hairline. He startled for a moment, and she retracted, forgetting that only she knew their connection. She sighed in resignation, pulling back every urge she had towards him. 

The next morning the doctor came in during morning rounds, test results in tow. Scully situated herself next to Mulder, who was sitting in his hospital bed, legs hanging off the side. She placed her hand on his knee as the doctor explained the results, him not shying away from her touch this time. 

"Mr. Mulder, I don't know what to say. You're in perfect health, nothing in the scans showed any reason for the memory loss, so we have faith that, in time, it will all come back to you." The doctor said, apology shining through his eyes for losing hope originally. 

"Can I take him home today? Is there anything specific you would recommend for his recovery?" Scully asked, assuming her Dr. Scully persona. 

"I don't see any reason for him to not go home today. Usually, we would suggest that he maintain a normal routine, to trigger any memories, but I know his case is special. With his memory completely erased, I would urge someone to at least be with him until he can find himself able to fully function on his own." 

"Thank you, if we can get the release papers, we'll be heading home then." She smiled courteously at the doctor in dismissal. 

"So, what's the plan, Doc?" He asked in attempt to ease the mood. 

"I - I think you should come stay with me for a while. Just until we can gauge the situation." 

"I wouldn't want to impose, I'm sure you have your hands full." He said gesturing to her stomach again. 

"Well, we've got a few weeks to figure that out, and who knows, maybe by then you'll have your memories back. Come on, let's go home." She said as she helped gather his things. 

As they began walking out of the room, he placed his hand on the small of her back, and she stopped in her stride at the motion. She turned to look at him with expectant eyes, finding just an ounce more of hope in their newest obstacle. 

"Oh, sorry. I don't know why I-" He began to stammer. 

"No, it's a familiar gesture that I've missed. It's okay." She said with a small smile as she reached up to gently cradle his face in her hand. They exchanged a silent understanding, and she found some small solace in the simple act. 

They made their way back to his apartment first, to pick up several things he would need while he stayed with Scully. As he walked into what he was told was his living space, he stopped in the doorway and took in his surroundings. Nothing seemed familiar to him. 

"Anything?" She asked in a small voice. 

"Memory wise, not a thing. Feeling wise, I would say I lived a lonely life." He said with a heavy sigh. 

"I wouldn't say that at all." She said with a mischievous smirk as she pushed past him to make her way into his bedroom to collect some things. 

"I don't mean to be forward here, but you sure know your way around my apartment pretty comfortably." He said as he leaned against the doorframe of his bedroom, watching her rummage through his closet and drawers for clothes. She paused in her actions, not sure how to approach that subject. 

"We - we've known each other for over 8 years now, and we've been partners for most of that time. Over the years, I'd say we definitely got close, you are my best friend, and I'd like to think that feeling is mutual." She said carefully, avoiding the rest of the relationship talk. He wasn't ready for that. 

"Well, considering you're the only constant in my current life, I'd say you are my best friend, too." He said jokingly, trying to make light of the conversation. She exhaled shakily, at the word of 'constant.' She could only hope that the man she loved was still in there. 

"Thanks." She said in a small voice, not meeting his eyes. "I think that's everything, at least for now. We can come back any time if you need more." 

They made their way to Scully's apartment after feeding the surviving fish, and he watched her pull out her keys to unlock her own apartment, causing a moment of realization. 

"You had a key to my apartment." He said as the image replayed in his mind. 

"You have a key to mine, too." She said in a whisper, avoiding adding emotion to her sentiment. She led them inside, and placed his things in her bedroom, never even questioning it. 

"So I take it I've been here several times before?" He said as he looked around. 

"More than I can count. It's a pretty simple tour - living room, kitchen, that's my room back there. That's the bathroom, but I'm sure you'll figure it all out." She said with a sympathetic smile. 

"And I'm assuming this is my room here." He said sarcastically as he plopped down on the couch. She smirked at his question, him not knowing the irony of his statement. 

"Well, you often prefer your own couch to the bed I didn't believe you had until a couple of years ago, but we can share my room, I don't mind." She offered cautiously, not wanting him to feel obligated to fall into whatever relationship they had before. 

"I wouldn't want to intrude, I'm practically a stranger to myself." He said in a heavy sigh. "I, uh, do want to wash off this hospital feel though, mind if I use the shower?" 

"Sure, there's clean towels in there. Your bags are in my room." He nodded his thanks before escaping down the hall, leaving her standing there exhausted. She was so conflicted about everything, worried things were going to be drastically different. Just as she was going to make herself comfortable on the couch, the knocking at the door startled her. 

"Skinner, Sir. Please come in." She smiled genuinely, he had been a good friend while Mulder was gone, keeping her beliefs strong. 

"How's he doing?" Skinner asked concerned. 

"He's as good as he can be, I suppose. He doesn't remember anything, so it's going to be an adjustment." 

"And how are you?" He asked sympathetically. Neither noticed that the water had already cut off, Mulder listening through the small crack of the open door. He was beginning to make his way to the bedroom to change before he heard voices, and stopped in his actions. 

"I'm fine. I think I'm more relieved to have him back, everything else we can just figure out." 

"Have you told him about the baby yet?" 

"I haven't even found a way to tell him about us yet. I don't think he's ready for that, and I don't want to overwhelm him." 

"Well regardless about the memory loss, everything about his personality is still Mulder, and the longer you wait, the worse it's going to be." 

"I know, you're right. I'll try to talk to him soon." 

That was all Mulder could take listening in, something inside of him felt jealous at the conversation happening in the living room, and he couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from. He finally made his presence known, being greeted by Scully's warm smile.

"Mulder, how are you feeling?" Skinner asked civilly.

"Fine, I guess. I think I'm getting a little hungry though." Mulder said shyly, afraid to be asking for too much.

"I'm just heading out, I'll leave you two alone. We'll talk later?" Skinner said, directed towards Scully. She nodded and he smiled at her, causing Mulder's stomach to turn. "Feel better."

"Hungry for anything specific?" She asked as she turned from closing the door behind Skinner.  

"I wish I knew. Did I have any favorites?" 

"Pretty much anything that came in a takeout box, or was dripping with grease from a diner. Take your pick." She smirked at him. 

"Well when you make it sound so appetizing, it's just so hard to choose." He teased back. She missed this, and her eyes gleamed at the small glimpse of Mulder that was still in there. He instantly sobered from the lighthearted moment, mixed emotions still surging through him from the conversation he overheard earlier. 

"I'm going to shower quickly, and then we can figure something out?" 

"Yeah, sure." He said distractedly. She made her way into the bathroom, leaving him alone with the only thoughts he had. 

He became antsy, and an odd feeling of betrayal washing over him. He glanced around, and saw a set of keys on the table by the door. He grabbed them and made his exit. 

Scully came from the bedroom after getting ready, fear clouding her face at the lack of Mulder's presence. She checked the entire apartment before noticing that the set of keys was gone from the front table. She exhaled deeply, actually finding some relief in the parts of him shining through in his actions. She plopped herself on the couch, giving him some time to fight whatever was running through his mind. 

After several hours, she grabbed her own keys and headed out the door. She stopped to pick up food from the chinese place that he frequented, and made her way to his apartment. When she approached the door, she could hear the television on, and smiled that he escaped here on instinct. She took out her own key, and let herself inside. 

He was startled to see her enter, a guilty expression washing over his face. She gave him a small smile, and sat next to him on the couch, situating the food out in front of them wordlessly. 

"I guess I probably shouldn't have tried to run away from the person who apparently knows me the best." He said as a light joke to break the silence. 

"You shouldn't have tried to run away at all. What happened?" She asked sincerely, wanting him to feel safe, to trust her. 

"I don't know, it's not that I'm not grateful, because trust me, I am. I just don't feel like I've found my place, I feel like I'm constantly imposing on your life, and I don't want you to feel obligated to care for me just because I don't have a family of my own." 

"And what caused this thought process?" She asked calmly as she separated the food. He didn't know why, but was slightly unnerved at how nonchalant she was in having this conversation. 

"I, uh, heard you talking to that Skinner guy, before I came out of the bathroom. You said that you weren't married, but I never thought to ask if you were seeing someone. I imagine having some old, brainless partner come crashing into your life is kind of a mood killer." He said sheepishly. He accepted the plate she made up for him cautiously, still confused at her calm demeanor. 

"I suppose I can't keep avoiding this conversation, as much as I don't think you're ready for it, you need to hear it." She said with a heavy sigh. "Mulder, I've spent the better part of the last year searching for you. I've devoted myself to finding any clue that could lead me to bringing you back. We are each other's family, and we have been pretty much since the beginning. I would, and have, done anything for you, and you for me. I was seeing someone briefly, but then he went missing, and I'm really glad to have him back, even if he doesn't remember me." She finished with a coy smirk. 

"You mean...?" He began to ask with wide eyes at her revelation. He smiled to himself, and bowed his head slightly. "That explains a few things." 

"I will tell you everything, eventually, but I just need you to know that you do have a place here." She said as she finally turned to catch his gaze. He nodded in understanding, matching the smile on her face. It quickly fell as a new epiphany popped in his head. 

"So, uh, the baby...?" He began to stammer, emotions flushing through him. He couldn't decipher what he felt more - scared, puzzled, joy.

"Yeah." She smiled down at her hand resting on her stomach, color tinging her cheeks. 

"I think, I'm excited about it. I'm actually disappointed I missed the making of it though." He teased. Her head shot up at him, grin growing. 

"Mulder!" She said as she playfully swatted at his arm. She shook her head, finally feeling content in their current predicament. She didn't know when, or if he would get his memories back, but she had faith in them, always. 

* * *

A week after Mulder's return, they found themselves in a comfortable routine. Regardless of the information that Scully expressed to him about their relationship, he still felt better sleeping on the couch. He didn't want to invade all of her privacy, given as much as she had already done for him.  

"I have to stop by work today, if you would like to join me." She yelled from her room as she was changing. 

"Oh, right. I used to work there, too. Uh, sure." He said cautiously. 

"It might help to hopefully trigger some kind of memory. Just more familiar surroundings. Your follow up appointment is later today as well, so we can head over after that." 

"Yeah, that's a good idea." He said as he approached the bedroom. She was buttoning up her shirt just as he walked in, and he stopped in his tracks. "Oh, sorry."

"It's okay, Mulder." She said with a small chuckle. "It's nothing you haven't seen before." 

"Yeah, well I don't exactly know that. Why are you laughing?" He playfully glared at her. 

"Because I can't wait for you to regain your memories so I can tease you about your discomfort later." She said lightly. He reveled in the blissful, glowing look on her face. His mind not remembering much, but his heart knew that this was right. 

They made their way to the Hoover Building, curious glances directed towards them as they walked through the main halls. She kept her stride strong, ignoring the whispers as she has always done. 

"I have a feeling I was pretty popular." He said sarcastically, whispering in her ear as he crept up from behind. She smiled and turned her head, her mouth slightly lingering before his. 

"You could definitely say that." She said with a mischievous smile. They made their way into Skinner's office, and were instructed to sit across from him in their usual seats. 

"How are you feeling, Mulder?" He asked passively. 

"I'm doing alright, other than the whole memory loss thing." He replied sarcastically. Skinner scoffed and shook his head, actually glad to have him back.

"I was just coming to make sure everything was handled with my maternity leave." Scully said carefully. 

"It's been processed, I took care of it. I, uh, also took care of the other thing you asked me about." He said as he cleared his throat, nervously glancing towards Mulder. 

"My transfer? Thank you. I look forward to teaching at Quantico once I return." She said confidently. He nodded silently at her, understanding clear. She wasn't hiding anything from Mulder, even if he couldn't remember. 

"Ready for our next stop?" She asked Mulder as they exited the office. He gave her a quizzical look, not sure what to expect. 

"More memory triggering locations?" He teased. 

"The biggest one, I hope." 

They made their way downstairs, and she stopped just before the door. She had already inquired, and Doggett was out on assignment, so the office was theirs. She led him inside, letting him take in the surroundings. He walked into the room slowly, a sense of familiarity washing over him. He couldn't pinpoint the feeling to a memory, but he knew this place was important to him, just as much as the woman standing by his side was. 

"Did this used to be our office?" He asked distractedly as he ran his hand over the 'I Want To Believe' poster hanging behind the desk. 

"Yes, do - do you remember?" She asked excitedly. 

"I don't know, I feel like I belong here, but I can't bring any specific memories to surface." 

"Good, that's good. It means that they're there, we just have to wait for them to return." She said as she walked closer to run her hand gently through his hair. He relaxed into the contact, resting his forehead against hers. A small tear escaped her eye, only realizing as he brushed it away softly with his thumb. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." He whispered into her mouth. He quickly separated himself from her and put his hands in his pocket, almost as if he was restraining himself from the compulsion to touch her, to feel close to her. 

She rolled her eyes at the feelings she can tell he was battling inside of him, the unknown of what was okay and what wasn't, and took him out of his misery. She reached up to cradle her hand behind his neck, pulling it back close to her face, letting her lips linger just before his. She smiled at the shocked expression on his face, and the arousal in his eyes. She stretched up to capture his lips with hers, and he melted into the embrace. He pulled her in by the waist as much as her pregnant stomach would allow, and deepened the kiss. Their lips glided together, her mouth opening willingly. Their tongues met, and a strong surge of remembrance came flowing through him. He abruptly disconnected from their embrace, eyes wild with confusion. She licked her lips nervously, regaining her composure, waiting for him to speak. 

"Scully..." He whispered contently, as if he's been uttering her name his entire life. 

"Mulder, what happened?" She asked, worry rising. 

"I don't know, but I think I'm starting to remember, remember you. There were flashes of images, when we kissed. I can't control them enough to stay, but I can feel them." He said in amazement. 

"We'll get your memories back, I promise you." She said fighting back the tears as she stepped towards him again. She cradled the sides of his face in both hands, running her thumb over his cheek in a comforting gesture. 

"We could always keep trying that until all my memories come back." He leered at her, his mouth lingering closer to hers. The sly smirk on her face grew, loving that he was back. 

"As much as I would love to take you up on that offer, you have a doctor's appointment. Maybe later." She said in a sultry tone. She pecked him quickly on the lips, grabbing his hand to lead him out of the office. 

They returned home after he had been given a clean bill of health, sans the memory issue, and situated themselves exhaustedly on the couch. They were enjoying the comfortable silence as he watched mindless TV, and she read through a few medical journals. He glanced over at her, and smiled at the serene look bestowed upon her face. She was facing him, back leaning against the arm of the couch, feet in his lap. 

"You're staring, Mulder." She said, not moving her attention away from papers in her lap. 

"I can't help it, you're kinda pretty. I'd like to think of guys who wake up with no memory, I scored on who was there to greet me." He said lightly. 

"Flattery will get you nowhere." She bit her lip, holding back the grin from touching her lips. 

"So you're saying I should try harder then." He said as he leaned his body over hers, supporting himself above her by his arms. She finally glanced up to meet his face, his lips immediately enclosing on hers. 

She began to chuckle into his mouth, remaining the return of the embrace. 

"Care to share with the class?" He teased at her laughter. 

"Nothing, I'm sorry. It's just that, we've been in this position before, but it wasn't you, and it definitely didn't end like this." She chuckled. 

"Well, it technically still isn't me, and I'd like to change that ending." He wagged his eyebrows at her. Her smirk grew as she pulled his head down to meet hers. 

They stayed in their embrace for several more minutes, finally coming up for air. Smiles covered their faces, completely content to be in each other's arms, as if it's all they've ever needed. She turned on her side, and he spooned himself behind her, holding her close as they lay there in comfortable silence once more. 

Mulder began to rouse, noticing that they had drifted off while watching TV. He smiled as he moved the hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. He leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her cheek, causing her to make indistinct sounds in her sleep. 

"Come on, let's get you to bed." He whispered in her ear as he gently woke her. She nodded, and began to rise from the couch to waddle her way to the bedroom. He followed, helping her get situated, before turning to leave. 

"Sleep here tonight." She said in a barely audible whisper. He froze at the invitation, but pushed aside that fear, knowing it's exactly where his heart was telling him he wanted to be. 

He smiled as he removed his jeans, leaving him dressed in only his boxers and t-shirt. He slid into the bed next to her, and she immediately cuddled into his side, using him as a pillow. 

The next morning Scully could feel the incessant nudging on her arm, urging her awake. She groaned into his chest, trying to block out him calling her name over and over again. 

"Scully, come on, wake up." He said gently, repeating the notion. 

"What do you want, Mulder? It's early, and I'm tired." She pouted, still not opening her eyes. 

"Oh, good. So me sleeping in your bed isn't a surprise for the both of us." He said sarcastically. She let the words play in her mind before pushing herself off of him to finally glance at his face. She looked into his eyes, and could see that he was back. 

"Mulder, you - you don't remember going to sleep last night?" She asked cautiously, wanting to gauge the situation. 

"Well, I would have to remember even coming back, to remember ending up in your bed. Apparently there's a few things I need to be caught up on." He said as his eyes pointedly gestured towards her stomach. She paled at the newest revelation, and sat herself up, leaning against the headboard. 

"Your memories are back." She said in a small whisper, more of a statement than a question. 

"Did they go somewhere?" 

"Yeah, you were returned, but you didn't have memory of anything. Mulder, you didn't know who you were, who I was." 

"Ah, Scully, I could never forget you." He said as he reached out for her hand. She grasped onto it instantly, worried that he wouldn't want this comfortable routine they had found themselves in. "What else did I miss?" He asked, again turning the attention to her stomach. 

"You don't remember any of the last week?" 

"No, the last thing I remember was being abducted. Even that's a little fuzzy." 

"Do you have idea what you've been through?" 

"Only what I see in your face." 

"God, Mulder. I've missed you. I mean, you were here, but you weren't." She said as a tear escaped her eye. He brought their intertwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of hers. 

"Well it looks like that version of me did better than I could ever hope to imagine." 

"Oh, I wouldn't say that." She said as she glanced down at her free hand on her pregnant stomach. His eyes followed her gaze, and he scooted closer, resting his hand over hers. 

She glanced up to see his elated face, eyes shining with delight. He finally met her gaze, passing silent sentiments as they've done so many times before. 

"Don't ever leave me again, Mulder. I need you here, we need you." 

He nodded wordlessly, relishing in the love shining through her eyes, directed at him. He leaned up to kiss her chastely, confident in their future, together. 


	2. Memories Found

It had been a few days since Mulder officially returned, memory in tow. He felt out of place, staying at Scully's, and with his mind back to what it was, there was no reason for him to remain there. She could feel him distancing himself, unsure about how he fit into her life. Before he was taken, there had been several nights where they needed each other, for comfort, for the feeling of belonging. It never amounted to more than that, and they didn't speak about it. It deepened their connection with each other, though that was never addressed either. They just carried on, strengthening their partnership in unspoken ways. She scolded herself for feeling relieved when he had a clean slate, one that she could craft as she chose. She felt nervous, to ask what he wanted, given that his intentions were clear. He still checked in with her daily, stopped by when he wasn't galavanting around in search of what was done to him. 

"Mulder." 

"Hey, it's me. Are you busy today?" 

"Well, given that I technically don't have a job because they're trying to find any reason to withhold me from returning, my schedule is unfortunately open." He scoffed. It wasn't his intention to sound ungrateful, bitter, he just felt so lost. 

"We'll figure that out, you just need to be patient with it." 

"Yeah, well that's not exactly my forte. Sorry, what did you need?"

"Nothing, I can tell it's not a good time. Just, call me later, if you get the chance." She said as she disconnected the call. She laughed to herself, who would have thought that the Mulder with no memory would be the easier of the two to handle.

He scolded himself, he knew he was being a fool, but he honestly didn't know what she expected of him. He was more than thrilled, nervous, but excited, about the baby. He hadn't directly outright said it, but the hints were clear. This transitional period was definitely an adjustment, for them both, and he wasn't handling it in the way that he had hoped. He grabbed his keys, running out the door to her apartment.

"What are you doing here?" She answered, perplexed by his presence. This was the first gesture he had really made as a form of apology.

"I came to grovel at your feet, and tell you I'm sorry I've been an idiot. I just, don't know where I belong here, Scully." He said as he plopped himself on her couch. She smiled, settling herself next to him. "I feel like so much has changed, and I just - I don't know."

"I suppose, there are several things we need to discuss." She said as she bowed her head, not expecting to have this conversation so soon. 

"I just feel like the version of me with no memory fit better into your, family life, than I do." He said offhandedly, speaking his thoughts. Her head shot up at him, brow furrowing. 

"Mulder, that's ridiculous." 

"Is it? I woke up in your bed, Scully. You were cuddled up, sleeping on my chest as if we had been doing that for years." 

"I'll admit, it was nice, to have you not overthinking everything. That probably had to do with the fact that you didn't know anything to overthink, but all the same, you just let things happen. Everything about your personality, and your heart, was you." 

"So you're saying that if I just let things happen now, I could wake up in your bed again."

"If that's what you wanted, I wouldn't object to it." She said with confidence. He met her gaze, reading the truth in her eyes. 

"Is that what, uh, what you want?" He asked cautiously, suddenly nervous to be entering this territory with her. He glanced at her stomach, the question bearing more weight than his words intended. 

"I called you today, to see if you would want to go to my birthing class with me." She said in a small voice, afraid she was asking too much. The shocked expression bestowed upon his face was all the answer she needed to lose all faith. "I just - my mom is busy, and I just thought..." 

"Do you want me to be there?" 

"I want you to feel like you belong, here, with us." She said nonchalantly, not wanting to make him feel forced into a situation he wasn't ready for. 

"Don't feel obligated to include me in your life, Scully." The bitterness in his voice adding an extra punch to his words. 

"Mulder, wait, please." She pleaded, following as he stormed out of the apartment. The frustrated growl at this exasperating man wracking her entire body. 

Later, Scully made her way to the class, partnerless. Her mind was anywhere other than proper breathing, and labor inducing techniques. Half way through the class, they asked that the birthing coaches situate themselves behind the women. Scully's heart sank slightly, the realization that she would be doing this alone officially settling in. She reached behind her to prop the pillows up comfortably, startling when a familiar hand covered hers. 

"Sorry I'm late." A sheepish smile appearing on his face. Her lips began to curl upwards, heart swelling at the sight of him. She simply nodded as he situated himself behind her, resting his hands on her stomach. 

She leaned back into him, turning slightly to see the look on his face. The awe and wonder, shining through those soft, hazel eyes she loved so much. It was this moment, that she truly felt like she knew what he wanted. His hands moved around her stomach, exploring with soft grazes of his fingertips. She leaned all the way back, glancing up to smile at him. 

"Having fun?" 

"Scully, this is amazing." The small whisper escaping his lips. She chuckled, her warm breath touching his neck as she exhaled. This sensation ran through him, almost as if he could feel that small breath flowing through his entire body. He finally turned to meet her eyes, mouth lingering just above hers. She glanced at his pouting lower lip, her mouth parting slightly. Just as he leaned in, the voice of the coach startled them both. He cleared his throat, her licking her lips distractedly. 

They went to a late dinner after, both making casual conversation, feeling foolish even for them. Subtle glances between each other, silently looking over the menu. His sudden presence in her class caused a new flurry of questions for them both. 

"Do you, uh, have any more classes?" He asked nonchalantly, breaking the temporary awkward silence. 

"No, that was my last one. I'm due in a few weeks." She said in a small whisper. 

"Doctor's appointments?" 

"I have another ultrasound later this week, to get a full look at the baby." 

"Are you going to find out what you're having?" And there it was. All of the doubt that had diminished in her mind when he showed up that evening, came rushing back, clouding every hope she had. In her mind, he had detached his claim from the child with that simple statement. Him showing up for her was out of guilt, a sense of obligation. 

"I already know." 

"Y - You already found out?" 

"Yes. Several weeks ago. Do you want to know?" She asked cautiously. 

She could see the question whirling around in his mind, wheels turning. There was confusion in his eyes, uncertainty on his face. He nodded slightly, biting the inside of his cheek. 

"I don't think so." He said carefully. 

He glanced up to see her face fall in disappointment, licking her lips nervously. He was confused, immediately replaying the entire conversation in his mind, knowing he must have said something wrong. He was being honest, on the surface level, not really delving into any real emotion. The deep sigh escaping his lips, knowing he needed to just lay it all out there. The diner they were sitting in wasn't exactly the perfect setting he was hoping for, but he didn't want to let this fester too long. 

"I'm actually not that hungry, I think I'm going to just head home. Sorry to cut this short. I'll see you later." She said abruptly, too many emotions flushing through her mind. His head shot up to see the unshed tears brimming her eyes. He reached out to grab her hand, and she retracted quickly, as if he burned her with his touch. His heart sank as he watched her walk away from him. 

It was only about an hour before he showed up at her apartment. He deemed that enough time to let her gather her thoughts and have time to think it over, just not too much time. He stood outside of her apartment, staring at the door, unable to knock. He exhaled deeply, raising his hand, stopping as it opened abruptly. 

"I heard you walking up, were you planning to stand there all night?" 

"I just, uh, can I come in?" He asked sheepishly. She nodded, waddling towards the couch, making herself comfortable. He sat gently beside her, on the complete opposite end of the couch, taking in his surroundings. He huffed out a small laugh, glancing down at her coffee table. 

"I thought you said you weren't hungry." He said teasingly, pointing to the open carton of ice cream sitting before her, just a spoon inside. 

"That doesn't count, it's become a necessity." She responded lightly, both avoiding the real issue. She knew there was a reason he was here, not ready to enter that discussion. "Mulder, I-" 

"No, wait. I need to say some things, before I completely lose whatever confidence it is that I seem to have thought I had coming here." He exhaled deeply, mentally urging himself to continue. "Returning, has been an adventure, for us both. You probably more so, first having to deal with the memory loss and then the disappointment of me actually fully returning." He scoffed. 

"There have been a lot of adjustments, trust me, I know. I guess I've been weary about how much you want me involved, what you expect from me. I know I didn't exactly handle this well, and I've been an idiot, but I want to be here for both of you." 

"I - I appreciate that, but I don't want you to feel like you're obligated to be here. This wasn't exactly anything we've talked about." 

"So, when you did IVF and asked me to be the donor, you weren't expecting me to stick around for that either?" 

"That was my decision to have a child, and that's different. IVF was - the baby wasn't created from..." 

"From some random lonely night?" He scoffed. Instantly wincing at his words. "I'm sorry." 

"I know you're trying to do the right thing because you feel guilty, or responsible for this, but I don't want a commitment with no emotion. I want you to be there for the baby, if that's what you want. But if -" 

He couldn't handle it, the emotions washing over him, losing all inhibitions. He snaked his hand behind her head, pulling her towards him, leaning down to capture her lips. It was rough, needy, almost as if she was his sole life source. He forced her lips open with his tongue, a hum of pleasure emitting from her throat as his tongue flickered against hers. Their lips glided together, breathing becoming shallow. He pulled back from her, still lingering above her face, smirking at the disheveled appearance. His hand remained in her hair, playing with the small wisps on the back of her neck. 

"Scully, if you don't know how I feel about you, I've been a bigger idiot than I originally thought. I want this, all of this. I want to wake up like I did the other day, with you curled up on my side. I want to be around to corrupt the kid as much as possible." She huffed a small laugh, the tears escaping her eyes. He cradled her face in his hands, wiping the tears softly with his thumb. 

"Y - You asked me what I'm having, not what we're having. I just thought -" 

"I didn't know how much you were willing to give, ready to give me. I didn't want to force myself into your life, but trust me, I want to be here." He said again, leaning down to enclose his lips on hers. It was softer this time, just as much passion behind it. He could feel her nodding against his face, finally relaxing into their embrace. 

"Do you, uh, want to stay over?" She asked in a small whisper, their foreheads touching. 

"Only if you want me to." 

"I do." 

"Okay, but the ice cream doesn't make it in to the bedroom." He said pointedly. She narrowed her eyes at him, pouting. 

"You can't just start making rules, Mulder. I'll kick you out." She said, crossing her arms in protest. He chuckled, picking up the ice cream and closing the lid on it. She began to argue against it, him kissing her again to keep her quiet. 

"Come on, it's bed time. You said your doctor told you to rest." He said as he walked back in from the kitchen, holding out his hands to help her off the couch. 

"I'm perfectly capable of getting off the couch by myself." She said in protest. She attempted to stand, falling back onto the cushions. She pouted in defeat, looking up at him with her big, blue eyes. He chuckled, reaching out his hands again, this time her accepting his help. 

"Don't you dare laugh, no comments from you. This is your fault anyway." She mumbled as she waddled towards the bedroom. The full grin touching his lips, he loved this already. 

* * *

The next few weeks had passed by uneventfully, at least by their standards. Mulder returned to work, only on desk duty. He spent almost every evening at Scully's apartment, abandoning his own. The transition in their relationship was enjoyed by the both of them, creating a closer connection. Scully's due date was approaching, putting them both on alert.

"What the hell are you doing?" He said as he rushed into the kitchen after returning home, seeing her standing on a chair attempting to reach something in the top cabinet.

"I'm just rearranging some things so I can make room for bottles on the lower shelf." She said nonchalantly, furrowing her brow at his panicked expression.

"Get down, I'll do it." He placed his hands on her waist, coaxing her down off the chair gently. She planted her feet on the floor, hands on her hips in a defensive stance.

"Mulder, I'm perfectly capable of rearranging kitchenware." 

"Not standing on a chair. Let me do this, go rest, like you've been instructed to do, many times." He said as he nudged her out of the kitchen. She pouted at him, waddling into the living room, one hand resting on her back, the other on her protruding stomach.

He smiled at the sight, following her into the living room. As she plopped herself on the couch, he crept up behind her, cradling her head in his hands, leaning her head back to face him. He bent over to place an upside down kiss on her lips, catching her by surprise. 

"Hi." He said in a small voice. 

"Hi." The smile touching her lips in response. 

"Scully, are all of these bottles going on the bottom shelf here?" He yelled from the kitchen. 

"Yeah, just move whatever else to the upper shelves. Preferably the lesser used appliances on the top, so we don't have them in the way." 

"Got it. What about these bottles with the weird things on top?" 

"That would be a breast pump." She said with a long pause. "Those go there as well." She said in a breathy voice. 

"Okay, anything else going on this shelf?" 

"No that should be -" Another pause. "Ahhh - That's all for now." 

"Scully, is everything okay?" He said as he walked in to sit next to her. 

"Yeah, everything's just fine. How was work today?" 

"Like it's been every other day, I don't know, it just doesn't hold the same excitement for me anymore." 

"I know what you mean. I'm actually excited to make the transfer once I return." She said in a small voice. She inhaled deeply, trying to mask the wince she could feel forming on her face. 

"So, how long have you been in labor?" He asked accusingly. She rolled her eyes, now regretting all those parenting books and magazines she forced him to read. 

"I'm fine, Mulder. My contractions aren't even that strong right now. Besides, they're still about 5 minutes apart." She said stubbornly. He nodded wordlessly, making his way into the bedroom. 

"Do you know where my tennis shoes are?" He yelled from the other room. 

"I moved them into the closet, they were in my way." 

He came back into the living room, seeing her eyes closed tightly, hand gripping onto the pillow beside her. She was breathing as she was taught, trying to ride out the contraction. He smiled, knowing this wasn't going to be easy. 

"Come on, we're going for a drive." He said excitedly. 

"You're taking me to the hospital." She pouted, eyebrow arching. He offered her his help to stand from the couch, her glaring at him in response. She rolled her eyes as she grasped on to his hands. She paused mid-movement, grip tightening as her breathing became shallow. 

"I was taking you to get ice cream, but if you insist we go to the hospital, I won't object." He said lightly, chuckling at her judging stare. 

He helped her out to the car, getting her situated in the front seat, placing the hospital ready bag in the backseat. There was no immediate rush for him to get to there, but he still felt the need to break a few traffic laws along the way, just in case.

They got her into a room, having called her mother already to let them know they were getting ready. Mulder was pacing the room, nervousness rising at the reality of the situation. 

"Would you please sit still, you're making me anxious." She hissed. He smiled apologetically at her, resuming his seat in the chair beside the bed. 

"Alright, let's take a look at the progress." The bubbly nurse said as she came bouncing into the room. "Everything looks good, clean water break, just over 9 cm dilated. I'd say it's almost about time. How close are the contractions?" 

"Every 3 minutes or so." She said exhaling deeply, fighting through another one. 

"Oh, that was a strong one. I'm going to update the doctor, we'll be back shortly." She said warmly, patting Scully's leg. 

"Uh, when did your water break? I know I'm not an expert, but I don't think that's something I would have missed." He said accusingly. 

"Right before you got home. I was in the kitchen, so it was easy to clean up." She said with a light shrug. 

"You knew you were going into labor even before I got home?" 

"Mulder, you're being overdramatic. I'm perfectly fine." She said exhaustedly. 

"Alright, I'll let this go, for now." He said with a playful glare. "I, uh, wanted to talk to you about something else -" His words cut off by the grip tightening on his hand. "Maybe now's not the best time." 

"No, just, talk. It'll be a good distraction." 

"Okay...well, I've been thinking, that my apartment lease is almost up, and I'm at your apartment anyway most of the time. I just, with us moving forward the way we have been, I don't know." He was rambling. There was no easy way to just outright say that he wanted to be there with her every step of the way. 

"Yes." She said in a breathy whisper, riding out another contraction, this one lasting longer. He caught her gaze, seeing the unspoken agreement in her eyes. He nodded, leaning forward to place a kiss on her forehead. 

"I found a straggler in the hallway, it sounds like we're ready to have a baby." The doctor said as she entered the room, Maggie following. She greeted her daughter, hugging Mulder as well. 

"Is it really time?" Scully asked in disbelief, realization still not fully setting in. Part of her was in denial, nervous about the baby, the majority of her was excited, happy to have what she's always wanted, with Mulder. 

"Looks like the baby is fully effaced, and you are just about ready to push." The doctor said with an elated smile.

Scully reached out for Mulder's hand, grasping onto it as if it was her only tether to life. He cradled the back of her head, leaning down to rest his forehead on hers. She sighed into the contact, both ready for this next step. She turned her head, burying her face into the crook of his neck, moaning as the next contraction hit. After she rode that one out, he turned to kiss her temple, mouth lingering above her ear. 

"I love you." He said in a small whisper. Her grip tightening on his hand in response. 

"Alright, Dana. Ready to push?" 

She nodded, trying to control her breathing with the contractions. Maggie situated herself on the other side of the bed, eyes gleaming at how attentive Mulder was to her daughter's needs. 

"Come on, Scully. You're the strongest person I know, you can do this, just one more push." He muttered the reassuring sentiments in her ear, seeing the clear exhaustion on her face. He kissed her sweaty temple, burying his face in the side of hers. 

The room was silent, except for the fresh cries of newborn lungs. Scully's eyes brimming with tears, turning to see Mulder's own, wet with emotion. She smiled at the look of amazement bestowed on his face, already completely captivated by the tiny human wailing as the doctor did the check up. 

"Go with them." She whispered, him glancing down with the goofy smile plastered on his face. He leaned in to kiss her firmly on the lips, nodding wordlessly. 

He walked over to the tiny table they were examining the baby on, watching the long limbs flailing around in protest to being touched. Mulder laughed to himself, definite confirmation this was his child. The nurse wrapped up the small bundle, turning to see the mystified look on his face. 

"Would you like to hold your son?" She asked with a warm smile. He nodded, accepting him in his arms. The baby cooed, settling himself into Mulder's embrace. He walked them both over to Scully, the sight of them causing a smile to spread across her face. 

"Scully, we have a son." 

"I know." She said, holding back the tears and emotions threatening to escape. "He's perfect." 

"Yeah, that's because he luckily has your nose." She chuckled, reaching out to bop him slightly on his own nose with her finger. Most of the staff had already left them to have their own time, leaving the small family to get acquainted. 

"Sorry, I'm being greedy." He said with a sheepish smile, handing the baby over to Scully. She smiled down at the small bundle in her arms, relishing in this moment. They both glanced at each other, emotions radiating through their eyes. He kissed her forehead, her sighing into the contact. 

"I'll be right back." He said softly. She nodded, turning her attention to her mother. 

He walked around the hospital, turning down random corridors, just needing a minute to compose his thoughts. A smile began to curve on his lips, an idea popping into his head. 

"What trouble did you manage to find yourself in?" She asked sleepily as he entered the room again. 

"Only the best kind, Scully. Where'd everyone go?" He asked as he took in the empty room. 

"My mom went to call everyone we know, I'm sure. They took the baby to the nursery for a bit. What's behind your back?" She asked with genuine interest. 

"I'm a man of my word." He said with a prideful grin, holding out the carton of ice cream to her. Her eyes gleamed at the sight, chuckling at his gesture. 

"Good to know." She said with a sly smirk. He plopped himself on the chair next to her, exhaling deeply in exhaustion. 

"I still can't believe it, you know. Just, everything that's happened. It still amazes me." 

"I don't think I've said this enough, but I really am glad that you're here. God, I missed you, and I know I could have done this on my own, but I didn't want to. It pained me the most, to think that you would miss all of this." She began to say as she fought the tears in her eyes. 

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." He leaned in to capture her lips, her returning the sentiment firmly. He smiled, kissing her forehead before resuming in his seated position. 

"Mulder..." She said in a small voice, stopping him mid-action. She smiled, grabbing onto his t-shirt to pull him back towards her mouth. Her lips lingering above his, seeing the questioning look in his eyes. "I love you, too." She whispered before embracing again. He sighed into her touch, cradling the back of her head, deepening their connection. 

There was a lot that happened between them, in the time that Mulder returned, to the baby being born. They both knew that whatever was going to be thrown their way, was going to be handled together, as partners, in every sense of the word. Their new, little family was all that mattered now, new memories ready to be made.


End file.
